After cremation, the question of keeping the remains inevitably arises. Some families choose to keep the urn at home, while others prefer entrusting the remains to a cemetery or funeral complex.
This choice, both practical, emotional, and symbolic, can be difficult to make. In this blog, we compare these two options to help you make an informed decision that respects your loved one’s memory.
Keeping the Remains at Home
1. What does this mean?
In Quebec, the law allows families to keep the remains at home. This means that a designated person becomes responsible for the urn and must ensure it is treated with respect and dignity, according to the deceased’s wishes.
2. Advantages of keeping the remains at home
- Comforting proximity: keeping the remains close can bring intimacy and presence.
- Flexibility: if you move, the urn can easily move with you.
- Lower cost: avoiding the expenses of a burial plot or a columbarium niche.
3. Limits to consider
- Emotional weight: seeing the remains daily may make grieving harder for some.
- Future responsibility: who will take care of the urn later on?
- No shared space: keeping the remains at home means others may not have a collective place to grieve.
Keeping the Remains in a Cemetery or Funeral Complex
1. The different options
Families can choose from several ways of keeping the remains:
- Burial of the urn in a reserved family plot.
- Indoor or outdoor columbarium.
- Memorial gardens or shared remembrance spaces.
2. Advantages of keeping the remains in a cemetery
- Accessible for all: a collective space where family and friends can gather.
- Lasting protection: cemeteries ensure the remains stay in a safe and maintained environment.
- Professional support: ceremonies, inscriptions, and rituals to honor the memory of the deceased.
Legal and Practical Considerations
Under Quebec’s Act respecting funeral operations, keeping the remains at home is possible, but certain responsibilities apply:
- Honoring the deceased’s wishes.
- Making a clear, documented decision to avoid future conflicts.
- If family disagreements occur, the legally recognized person (often the spouse, a close relative, or someone designated) has the final say.
The Emotional and Symbolic Factor
Choosing where to keep the remains is not only a practical matter. It is closely tied to grief and the family’s healing journey.
- Some find comfort in keeping the remains close by.
- Others prefer a neutral space, like a cemetery-garden, that allows reflection in nature.
In both cases, rituals—placing flowers, visiting a columbarium, or pausing in front of the urn—play an essential role in maintaining a bond with the deceased.
Respecting the Deceased’s Memory
Deciding where to keep the remains after cremation is a deeply personal choice. Keeping them at home offers intimacy and flexibility, but may bring emotional challenges and uncertainty for the future. Choosing to keep the remains in a cemetery or funeral complex ensures a collective and lasting place of memory, though it may require more organization and cost.
What matters most is making a thoughtful decision that respects your loved one’s memory and supports the grieving process of family and friends.
👉 To learn more about the different options for keeping the remains, contact Mount Royal Commemorative Services. Our compassionate team is here to guide you with respect and care.
